On giving thanks.

Gosh I love them.

There is so much to be thankful for, we are abundantly blessed.  Our life is full.  Bursting at the seams.  So much has happened this year {hello baby Caroline!} Sure we have had our fair share of bumps along the road, but God has been by our side through each one.  {I only wish I was better at skipping the drama mama part.}

Life with four kids is a sort of beautiful chaos.  It’s been a challenge for me knowing that even on my best days I’m pretty much just scrambling from one moment to the next.  I’m learning that motherhood is just a constant state of changing from one phase to another.  I still don’t know why this surprises me.  Or why I’m so surprised when things go smoothly or equally shocked when things go south.  This is hardly the calm, quiet, organized version of motherhood I’d imagined.  No, life is messy.  The good kind of messy.

In the middle of it all I find myself praying.  I pray a lot.  Prayers of thanks. Prayers that the baby would only wake-up two or three times a night.  Prayers of praise.  Of frustration.  Prayers asking why.  Asking forgiveness.

I’m also continually giving thanks for patience.  Not always for me, but for a very patient God.  My prayers have also been for God to work a miracle through me, to meet me in my weakest moments.  {And there are many.}  That the Lord would give me the peace, calm and clarity that I so desperately need day in and day out. Because let’s be honest, while being a mother is the best thing I’ve ever done it’s also the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I am so incredibly thankful for Alex for dreaming big in our life together.  For taking risks, for working incredibly hard because let’s be honest, being a husband and father is a big job and thankfully, Alex is one of the hardest workers I know.  He gives so much of his time serving our community, at the office and yet still has energy at the end of the day to play with the kids and help with bedtime. I don’t thank him enough but he certainly is adored around here.

Sometimes I feel like I have so much to write and say but it all gets jumbled up and doesn’t come out right.  I guess it all boils down to this – I’m so very thankful.  Thankful for the love, relationships, challenges, laughter, noise, full house, tears, big hugs, lack of sleep, big smiles.  For all of it.  Because without all of that we wouldn’t have this beautiful and full – very full – and blessed life.


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