By summer and grace.

For an entire week the vacuum cleaner sat in the middle of the living room, unused, though certainly not for a lack of need.   I decided this must be the sign of a summer well spent.  On Saturday, Alex decided it was time to vacuum.

Bike rides, swimming with friends, wading pools and slip n slides.  Picnic lunches, playdates at the park.  Dinner with family and dinner with friends.  Tennis lessons, golf lessons.  Chocolate chip cookies and popsicles.  Quiet-times, go times.  It’s all in there.  A true summer week.  Heck, we even tossed in some horseback riding.  {Thanks Bob and Joe!}

All too often I catch myself looking towards the future rather than soaking up the present, thinking way to much about what could be, what could have been.  I wonder if this is a character flaw, all of this dreaming?  I’ve discovered a balance to my dreaming, the decision open up my hands and heart, to fully receive each day for what it is, a gift.  No matter what.

Yet even in the midst of sweetness the bitter creeps in.  It’s there and it’s real and this journey of special needs is flat-out hard sometimes.  I’m certain this is why I’ve been so reflective and wishy-washy and reserved, circling the wagons and breathing in family time like air.  The hurt comes out of nowhere and settles.  But oh the gift of a friend who knows, who gets it, who is walking this parallel life with me.  A mother who doesn’t require lengthy explanations or needs me to sugar coat feelings.  She knows my true heart, my love for my children and encourages and refreshes my spirit.  Amy, you don’t know the courage your friendship gives me.  What a gift it was to meet sweet baby {girl!} Mikayla and sit down and talk with you {in person!}  Thank you.

Again, the bitter is washed away by the sweet.  His grace is good.  Always.

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3 thoughts on “By summer and grace.

  1. love the lazy days of summer – wish I could find them :) You are right, this journey is hard, a dear friend told me that not too long ago with tears in her eyes, only a Mom like “us” would understand. Not sure why God chose us (and I ask Him often), but know we are always here no matter how silent we sometimes appear. Love to you and your family my friend. One day at a time and by His grace alone.

  2. I love your blog. Your words are often helpful for me – it’s the reason I read (and all the fun photos of your sweet boys)! There are so many times I find myself questioning whether I am doing this right and what is really best for my Alex. Thanks for sharing a bit of your life – it’s a little ray of sunshine and healthy dose of reality for all of us moms with special needs kiddos. Margaret:)

  3. Libby, “refreshing for my spirit” were the exact words I used to tell Aaron about our visit. I’m so thankful for you, our friendship, your loving and understanding heart, and that God crossed our paths all those years ago, because he knew we’d need each other. Let’s visit more often, dear friend!

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