“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” -C.S. Lewis
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one that feels this way. Obviously this life is good, but do you know what I mean? This world can overwhelm and I know when He is telling me to turn my gaze to Him. To let all of the injustices, debates and up-side down ways of this world go. I’m reminded that He has equipped so many others for this fight, and when it’s time, He will give me the words, the strength, the grace – the armor – I need.
For now He has made it clear that I’m to rest in Him and pray for those who are in the trenches.
I used to be so good at this juggling act of life. Things came easily. To-do lists cowered in my presence. Nothing could get me down.
I’ve noticed an uncomfortable truth. It seems that all too easily my priorities get confused. I find myself seeking, craving, desiring – something. It’s all too easy to dull those feelings by clicking through endless blogs, or buying something new to brighten the house. The need and the desire is real, but it will never be fulfilled this way.
If you can believe it – these feelings of unease and unrest – they seem to blossom when I’m most comfortable. The enemy knows my weaknesses, how to send me spiraling.
It’s becoming easier for me to know when I’m under attack and I’m slowly becoming better equipped for this battle. I understand the need to immediately re-prioritize. To give my full attention to the things that fill up and allow His goodness and love to overflow through me. I’m well aware that all to often I fill up my day with *nice* things and find myself with little time or energy left for those things that are really essential. There is no room for argument, I simply must refocus and choose wisely what I will accomplish with each day.
This is certainly a theme that routinely cycles in my life and with each cycle God reaches out in abundance. For that I give thanks.
I’d like to start a new routine of my own…taking my cue from Ann Voskamp, and recording my thanks to Him right here. To have a record of all of the goodness and grace He showers us with each and everyday. Because it’s always there, smack-dab in the beautiful and the ugly days. Let’s see how high we can count…
1. sunshine that promises spring is around the corner.
2. an unexpected afternoon nap with Charlie.
3. curls on my youngest, his singing voice so full of joy.
4. our oldest boy who walks so bravely in this world.