Can you get into heaven if you have granite countertops? And other thoughts that keep me awake at night.

This post probably seems all over the place, but I suppose that makes it an accurate reflection of my ever so scattered brain.

I often run myself in circles with my many and varied deep {and not so deep} thoughts.  {Perhaps this is the result of spending my days with little ones?}

For instance:

If God knows all things then how could he get such a small detail like my natural hair color wrong?  Clearly I was supposed to be a natural blonde.  So does He mind that I have it highlighted every eight weeks?

Why was I fortunate enough to be born into my family?  In this country?

Why did He hand-pick me to mother Henry, Charlie and William?

Can you have nice things and not feel guilty?

I’m practical almost to a fault, but strive to be generous with all that we have.  Yet I’ll admit it; I like nice things.  For sure Alex and I have worked hard for all we have.  We are responsible with our money and try to be good stewards with what we He has entrusted to us.  We save. We think about the way we spend every dollar.  We don’t spend more than we have.  We give willingly.

Yet dollar by dollar, as we become more “secure” I’ve had this growing realization.  Those “things” we covet and eagerly look forward to; as they become more easily accessable, they begin to lose their lustre.  Suddenly the new car in your driveway that you dreamt of for years, while shiny and comfortable, doesn’t necessarily bring with it happiness.  Sometimes “more” becomes more complicated.  You long for simple because you know that with simple comes “focused” and “purposeful”.

Here’s the thing.  We all have so much.  And by “we” I pretty much mean everyone living in the U.S.  Take a look around our world.  There are various living conditions, and the contrast between the haves and have-nots is big.  To put it bluntly we have it pretty darn cushy around here.

I know this in my heart of hearts and yet remain concerned about the state of my window treatments.

Which brings me back to the thoughts that keep me up at night.  This one always gets me:

Am I living out His purpose for me?  Can I do this from my cushy perch in the world?

I’m a Christian.  I believe in Jesus.  So does that mean that our family is supposed to sell all of our belongings to become missionaries in Africa?

I would certainly be out of my element and honestly I don’t think that is my calling.  I truly believe that some are called to serve Him as missionaries but I’m not one of those.  But I do believe that I have a calling.  You do too.

For the longest time I didn’t know what my calling was.  Be a good person?  Follow all of the rules?  Have the cutest shoes?

Then it clicked.  Raise my three boys.  Honor and love my husband.  Be a light in the darkness.  Celebrate each and every life.

Sounds pretty lame when measured our culture’s standards doesn’t it?

Or I could look at it this way.   My purpose is to mother with grace.  To gracefully raise a son with special needs.  To share the both the challenges and joys of mothering.  To share all the blessings of our family – but to especially share the blessings of Charlie. To show the value of life – every life. All to glorify Him.  Now that’s a purpose.

I rest in the belief that if your heart is right with the Lord and you are being obedient, then having granite countertops or shutters on your windows doesn’t matter.  {Totally hypothetical.}  Just like I’m pretty sure that formica countertops aren’t an all access pass to heaven.

Some may say I’m fooling myself.  That it doesn’t matter.  To just shut-up-and-enjoy-what-you-have-already.   I’ve done that and to be honest it felt empty and lonely.

Instead, I’m trying to stay focused on Him.  To remain faithful and listen to what or where He is calling me to action.  And I’ll be honest, sometimes I’m like a little kid plugging my ears “la, la, la, la, I can’t hear you.  I don’t want to be the mother of a child with special needs.  I’ll take another purpose please, one with a smoother road thank you very much.”  I stray from Him.  I’m human.  But I know in my heart that He knows me better than I know myself.  That while my attention is often captured by the shiny and new, He knows where my heart is at home.


5 thoughts on “Can you get into heaven if you have granite countertops? And other thoughts that keep me awake at night.

  1. Great post. I, too, agree with every word. For years I wondered what my calling or vocation in life was… I feel like God took 40 years of preparing my “soil” to be ready for me to raise a child with Ds and being the best mother to my children that I possibly can. Have you heard of Cardinal Mindszenty and his beautiful reflection on mothers? Here ’tis:


    Cardinal Mindszenty’s message on a mother is:

    The Most Important Person on earth is a mother. She
    cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame
    Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more
    magnificent than any cathedral-a dwelling for an
    immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby’s
    body…The angels have not been blessed with such a
    grace. They cannot share in God’s creative miracle to bring
    new saints to Heaven. Only a human mother can. Mothers
    are closer to God the Creator than any other creature; God
    joins forces with mothers in performing this act of
    creation…What on God’s good earth is more glorious
    than this: to be a mother?

    -Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty

  2. Love this post! I think that if we walk through life by faith, listening to the promptings we recieve and doing His will, we will be truly happy. The rest will work itself out.

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