Lately I’ve been re-energized and refreshed as a mama.   This hardly means that our days are always smooth sailing or that I’m calm and patient all the time.  Let’s just clear that up right away.  It probably doesn’t hurt that I’ve stumbled across some great reads that have not only encouraged me, but given me some fresh perspective.  Or that I’m finally putting some things that I’ve long known about my children and myself as a mother into action:

We thrive on routine.  We need lots of margin.  However, life gets busy and some days our schedule is jam-packed.  I need to just get over this, and set a positive tone as we bounce from one activity to another because they always, always take their cues from me.  However, as the mama I also have the privilege of protecting our down-time.  Yes, it’s hard to say no to so many *good* activities but it’s necessary for our crew.  The best way to *fill-up* and show my kiddos love includes reading lots of stories, snuggles, time spent just listening and especially when I get down on the floor and play.  {Ugg.}  Remember to look directly into their eyes when speaking to them.  They notice.

I’m doing my best to savor each day with our three little ones, filling them up with an abundance of love and patience and just-being time before baby.  Maybe I could chalk it all up to pregnancy hormones, but whatever the reason it’s working for our family and I want to remember this.

It’s sort of like my brain is nesting and storing up nuggets of information and good reminders before this new little one comes.  My nightstand is overflowing with parenting books mixed in with all of the “how to have a baby books”  {which Alex teases me about…shouldn’t I be familiar with all that by now…?}  Ha.  I’m diligently making my way through each one, but here are a couple of faves:

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys

And here are a few encouraging blog posts on mothering that I’ve stumbled across lately:

Having babies in opposite world.  This article struck a chord with me.  I think you’ll see why.

From the post:

Opposite World says if you do have children, 1 or 2 is a nice number…and a family with  3 or 4 children is considered a large family.  And goodness, if you are pregnant with your fifth, you can expect the snide remarks like “you know what causes that, right?” or “Is this an oops?”  I mean why on earth would women want to have lots of babies?

But OH – this is not how God sees children.

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from Him. ~ Psalm 127:3

Rachael Janokovic wrote a profound post over at Desiring God Ministries about motherhood – here’s an excerpt:

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.

Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.

…

If you are a pregnant woman, boldly declare your excitement for your baby bump!

When you are in the midst of bottles and binkies and spit up and tantrums and sleepless nights – do not let the enemy whisper in your ear – “this is too much.”  Lean on Jesus and thank God for giving you SO much!

When the world says, you are too young. Remember Mary was young.

When the world says, you are too old. Remember Sarah was old.

When the world says, you don’t know what you are doing. Remember Eve – who had no role models at all…she just walked with the King.

We must shut out the voices of Opposite World and listen to the maker of this world. 

—————-

And one more good read:

Sarah, writes about distracted Parenting.  Basically this…as parents we have become so easily distracted by those darn little iphones that we all carry around.  And while trying to keep up with *everything* and *everyone* via our phones we are not only missing out on the real life going on around us, but researchers have “observed a dimming of the child’s internal light, a lessening of the connection between parent and child” when parents are distracted by their phones, ipads, etc.

My family gives me a hard time for being the world’s worst phone call returner, or texter, but honestly this is why.  And yes, I’m guilty sometimes too, but when it comes down to it, I don’t want my kids to have a constant image of their mom always looking at a phone.  They are more important.  Period.  Plus, as another wise woman, has said, Life is not an Emergency.  No text or phone call needs to be responded to right this very minute.  Remember the good ol’ days when people left messages and patiently waited for a response?  Might be another lesson in there somewhere…

mom circa May 1979, pregnant with me and headed to the hospital. talk about a blessing, my mom is amazing!

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I’m going to say it one more time.  I’m just so grateful to be a mom.  I feel so thankful for the opportunity to raise-up our little ones alongside Alex.  I sure love these kiddos and the {growing} family that we’ve created.

happy kiddos + one tired but very content mama = joy

I’m also so thankful to be surrounded by so many wonderful women who support and encourage me along this journey of motherhood.  Over Mother’s Day weekend I spent time away with my mom, four Aunties and four cousins.  It was a wonderful girl’s weekend of celebration – weddings, birthdays and baby – oh what fun we had.  My trip away was also my last *hurrah* before baby as my doctor has rather strongly insisted that I stick close to home.

Monday, on the heels of Mother’s Day I had a doctor’s appointment and ultrasound to see how baby Coco is doing.  Thankfully baby is looking good and we’re giving praises for placentas that move and for baby’s who are head-down!  Alex and my mom were there for the ultrasound and it was pretty darn impressive to hear Alex giving the ultrasound narrative… “there’s the heart, see the eyes, that’s her profile, oh and that’s a hand….”  He claims not to be into all this baby stuff, but he certainly knows his stuff.

While it’s probably too early to begin counting down to an actual birth day, there’s no doubt that this sweet little baby is going to be here soon.  This means it’s time to actually start preparing for baby and I certainly have plenty of organizing, sorting and baby-related laundry to keep me busy for a while.  For good measure, I’ll also probably move some furniture around the house, putter around the garden, plant and re-plant a handful of poor plants and re-arrange my random knickknacks for the two hundredth time.  Nesting sounds like pure heaven for this homebody.  I’m also hoping to sneak in a dinner date with Alex, a few lunch and coffee dates with friends and plan on taking each kiddo out for some solo time with mommy.  Sounds like fun doesn’t it?

At this stage of the game I’m all about wearing things without a fitted waistband.  Helllooo skirts!  It took me long enough to realize, but my jeans and really anything else with a restrictive waistband was making me grumpy.  My belly is low, low, low this time.  Not sure if it’s a girl thing or a fourth-pregnancy thing, but it’s made for some adventures when getting dressed.  And yes, I realize that if this is my biggest complaint I shouldn’t be complaining at all because in all reality I feel pretty darn great at this stage of the game.

So for now we wait, we dream and all five of us spend way too much time staring at my belly as baby Coco dances and wiggles around.  It’s safe to say we’re already smitten.

Dear Henry,

Today we celebrate you.  As our first baby it seems fitting that your birthday and mother’s day fall close on the calendar for eight years ago we embarked on this crazy journey together.  I had big dreams and plans about what it would like to be a parent.  To be a mother to you, my first-born son.

Of course it’s completely different.  More often than not though, it’s better than what I dreamed.  We certainly have our moments, but somewhere in the middle we’ve taught each other a lifetime of lessons on extending and receiving grace.

Sometimes I wonder where that perfect mother, the mother who existed only in my dreams, went.   For I am far from perfect.

Sometimes I wonder how you and I can be so completely different and yet so very much the same.

I also never imagined how charming and loving you would be.  It is funny, being the mother of a boy like you, knowing that you operate best moving at full speed, talking always, knowing everything, and yet at same time you are so empathetic, understanding and always wearing your feelings on your sleeve.

It catches me at odd moments, just how amazing I find you to be.  Already, at only eight you are becoming a grown-up kind of handsome.  And yet almost daily I still catch glimpses of the little boy within.  I wish I could freeze those moments in time.

You are a wonder to watch in action.  You are a natural athlete, I’m not sure if you realize this yet.  You are a gifted people person – a social butterfly if you will – but this gift also brings you trouble.  Occasionally your teacher checks in with us, to mention that you are talking out of turn too often {and too loudly}, or that you are having trouble minding your own business.  And yet in the same note she can’t help but mention how delightful you are to have in class.  This is the paradox of you sweet boy.

Somehow you have managed to create a perfect storm for mothering.

You balance strength with weakness.  You are driven and determined and yet you are restless.  You are competitive and you are compassionate.  You are disagreeable, and then pleasing.  You are a mystery and yet I understand you completely.  I feel the same swing as a mother; one moment I’m teetering on the edge of “I’ve got this” and next I’m loosing my mind.

One thing is certain, I love you sweet Henry.  I’m so thankful for you, for all that makes you, you.  Your laughter, the pure joy, zest and wonder that you bring to this life.  I love you.

Happy Birthday sweet boy!  We are so thrilled to celebrate eight year-old YOU.

I want to give a special shout-out to Kristen. She has a way with words, and has served as a blessing and inspiration on raising-up boys.

We did it.

Feeling like we should have one last hurrah before baby comes we packed up our family of five and went to Disneyland.

Oddly enough my vote for Maui was not taken seriously.

Our kiddos have been blessed to go on lots of vacations as they’ve grown up.  However during this vacation we realized that our boys have also missed out on lots of vacation norms.  Like flying.  Staying in a hotel.  Little things like that.  We are vacation road warriors, and don’t think twice about driving 9 hours to our destination.  That way we can pack our car to the gills and be as loud as we’d like without bothering anyone else.  William was pretty darn confused about the whole rental car thing, and *our new house.*

Let’s play *can you spot the cowboy hat?*

See baby Coco…you’ve already been to Disneyland.  And the beach.  ;)

We had the best time.  Six full days together, just the five of us.  It was so much fun to play and laugh and see where each day led us.  And while our exhausted troopers could have used every excuse in the book for meltdowns, they were fantastic.   We were on the go from our 7am wake-up until we returned to our room around 9pm and once until 10:30pm!

On Tuesday my brother Jimmy joined us {which was apparently the same day we gave the camera a break?}  What a treat it was to spend the day with my brother and to watch him interact with his adoring nephews.

Wednesday we decided that three days at the Happiest Place on Earth was enough and called it a beach day.  We headed to Malibu and spent the day playing in the sand, eating a tailgate picnic, catching up with my cousin Jessica and stopping at In-And-Out for dinner.  Yum.

Yes, Disneyland was cliché.  It was overstimulating.  We probably could have just flown the commuter flight from our hometown to Seattle and back and called it a day.  {Seriously, that was probably a top highlight for the boys.  That and a pack of gum they split.}  I also felt like I should make a tater tot casserole when we got home.

But for all of those silly things, it was just right.  I’m so thankful for Alex who carefully planned every detail for our family.  And I can’t think of anything better than watching my loves play and laugh and be thrilled together.  Yay for family vacations!

A couple of Disney tips if you are headed that direction in the near future:

1.  If you are traveling with multiple little ones bring your biggest double stroller.  We might have gotten some funny looks at the airport, but there is no way we could have successfully done this trip without our trusty double bob stroller.  Even Henry would collapse into it on occasion.  It was the perfect place for the little ones to nap or just pull down the shade and take a break if it became too much.

2.  Bring your own snacks and water into the park.  We ate our lunch and dinners at the park {or right outside} but I was so thankful to have plenty of granola bars, raisins, water bottles, etc. to pass out throughout the day.  Not only did it save money but we were able to avoid standing in yet another line.

3.  Speaking of lines, we pulled the special needs card.  We’ve never, ever done this {quite honestly we try to avoid doing this at all costs} but this felt like the right time to do it.  I’m not sure if this is taboo to say or not, but hopefully this information will help another family out.  When we first got to Disney we checked in at city hall and received a pass that allowed us to cut to the front of almost every line and keep our stroller with us the entire time – right up until we boarded the ride.  Now before you start cursing my name, know that this was huge for Charlie.  {And let’s be honest, his very pregnant mama too.}  I’m pretty sure it allowed him to keep pace with the rest of us and avoid the way over-crowded and over-stimulating lines that might have led to some meltdowns.

4.  Go slow.  We spent 1 1/2 days in the Disney park and 1 1/2 days in California Adventure.  We didn’t see it all.  We didn’t go on every ride.  But by doing this our boys never felt rushed and we were simply able to enjoy what we did see.

5.  Take the ART shuttle to the park if you are staying off-resort.  It’s way easier {and cheaper} than parking and again, another unexpected highlight for our boys was riding the *bus.*

P.S. I have no idea why sometimes pictures post and why other times they don’t.  I’ve even noticed that some text occasionally gets left out.  I’m just not tech savvy enough to understand…but I’ll do my best to fix things as problems arise.

We did it!  Spring Break 2013 was a hit.  There was nothing better than having the boys home for a week.  When all was said and done I was pretty bummed to head back into our school routine.  If anything I’m looking forward even more to summer.  And yes, this might be the hormones talking since summer = home all day long with three busy boys + one newborn.

I’m such a homebody at heart.  To me there is nothing better than puttering around the house, digging around the garden, baking something each day and just being with my kiddos.  Allowing our days to be determined not by a schedule, {pick-up! drop-off! practice!} but by our own rhythm.  I also love watching the relationships between each brother grow.  Of course this also comes with our fair share of hurt feelings and disagreements.  Yet sometimes its as if I can actually see the threads of brotherhood actually weaving in and out of each interaction.  I’m certain that this is yet another reason I’m so insistent on always circling the wagons.  Keeping playdates to a minimum and just letting my boys discover their days together – as brothers.

This week we are back at it.  Yesterday I counted and I loaded and unloaded and buckled the kids into the car seven times.  {Truthfully I just buckle William and Henry helps with Charlie but I did herd and coral the kids all SEVEN times.}

Yes, I realize how silly I am.  Always wishing for something else.  Like for my sanity.  One less errand.  Or a sudden burst of energy.  Too much to ask?  Maybe.