Henry

Dear Henry,

Today we celebrate you.  As our first baby it seems fitting that your birthday and mother’s day fall close on the calendar for eight years ago we embarked on this crazy journey together.  I had big dreams and plans about what it would like to be a parent.  To be a mother to you, my first-born son.

Of course it’s completely different.  More often than not though, it’s better than what I dreamed.  We certainly have our moments, but somewhere in the middle we’ve taught each other a lifetime of lessons on extending and receiving grace.

Sometimes I wonder where that perfect mother, the mother who existed only in my dreams, went.   For I am far from perfect.

Sometimes I wonder how you and I can be so completely different and yet so very much the same.

I also never imagined how charming and loving you would be.  It is funny, being the mother of a boy like you, knowing that you operate best moving at full speed, talking always, knowing everything, and yet at same time you are so empathetic, understanding and always wearing your feelings on your sleeve.

It catches me at odd moments, just how amazing I find you to be.  Already, at only eight you are becoming a grown-up kind of handsome.  And yet almost daily I still catch glimpses of the little boy within.  I wish I could freeze those moments in time.

You are a wonder to watch in action.  You are a natural athlete, I’m not sure if you realize this yet.  You are a gifted people person – a social butterfly if you will – but this gift also brings you trouble.  Occasionally your teacher checks in with us, to mention that you are talking out of turn too often {and too loudly}, or that you are having trouble minding your own business.  And yet in the same note she can’t help but mention how delightful you are to have in class.  This is the paradox of you sweet boy.

Somehow you have managed to create a perfect storm for mothering.

You balance strength with weakness.  You are driven and determined and yet you are restless.  You are competitive and you are compassionate.  You are disagreeable, and then pleasing.  You are a mystery and yet I understand you completely.  I feel the same swing as a mother; one moment I’m teetering on the edge of “I’ve got this” and next I’m loosing my mind.

One thing is certain, I love you sweet Henry.  I’m so thankful for you, for all that makes you, you.  Your laughter, the pure joy, zest and wonder that you bring to this life.  I love you.

Happy Birthday sweet boy!  We are so thrilled to celebrate eight year-old YOU.

I want to give a special shout-out to Kristen. She has a way with words, and has served as a blessing and inspiration on raising-up boys.

Milestones

We’ve had two recent milestones that might not seem noteworthy, but for our family were big.

The first milestone was our annual church Christmas program.  This year, all three boys participated.  Really and truly it was amazing.  Not because our kids stole the show {not even close} but simply the fact that they were all singing together.  It might not make sense to anyone else, but to see Charlie up there makes my heart want to burst with joy and hug and profusely thank everyone who loves and believes in our little guy.

my two tough guys at practice.

{Perhaps William, our curly-hair cutie might be stealing the show?}

Seriously. Look at our Charlie.  Look at all he can do.

No, he wasn’t singing or doing the hand motions.

But I can’t help but feel like it’s like watching a miracle.

and henry…we have since been to the eye dr…guess who’s getting glasses?!

Another somewhat silly, but oh so big milestone took place at a birthday party.  Our boys have been invited to numerous parties over the years celebrating family and friends, but never before has Charlie received an invitation.  Just for him.  Last Saturday Charlie and I went to a party that he had been invited to by one of his classmates.  There is no doubt that he understood the significance of this as he waved good-bye to his brothers while also wearing an impish grin.

Upon our arrival Charlie was greeted with hugs and waves from his buddies.  He slipped on his bowling shoes and yes, he bowled a strike.

There was pizza, cake and ice cream.  And Charlie sat right alongside his buddies, eating his slice of greasy cheese pizza.  Of course I was on-guard the whole time.  Ready to swoop in at any time to make things right, or normal, or whatever.  I know some of you mama’s know what I’m talking about.

But guess what?

Not one thing about the party was remarkable, but I will never forget it.

Amazing Charlie.

This is entire post is probably going to sound like I’m bragging.

I am.

But seriously, with all that Charlie has been up to it’s impossible to not be proud.

I don’t even know where to begin.  How about horseback riding?

Charlie has two weeks of hippotherapy lessons under his belt and I can’t even begin to list all of the amazing benefits.  The look of pure pride and joy Charlie wears during his entire lesson is worth it alone.  There are of course some major benefits he is working towards – building core strength, balance, coordination, improvements in speech – honestly the list could go on forever.  Then there are the more subtle perks.  Like watching Henry encourage and cheer his little brother on.  And giving Charlie an activity that is special and fun and HIS.  Sure that might sound nuts, but with brothers like Henry and William, having the spotlight shine on Charlie for an hour or so is a good lesson in balance.

Another unexpected blessing is all the people who are involved in Charlie’s lessons.  There are just 3-5 kiddos per session, but it takes a whole arena full of people to make it happen.  Each person is quite simply amazing and we’ve left each session so encouraged and proud of our little guy.

Charlie drew this jack ‘o lantern un-prompted the other day at school.  AMAZING.  See how proud he is?

Then there is school.  Last week we had our fall conference for Charlie.  We simply can’t say enough about his teacher Mrs. R.  Her love and encouragement for Charlie is overwhelming and in the very best way possible.  She sees Charlie as we do and has taken the time to truly get to know and understand our child.  How he learns, his personality, his sense of humor, his strengths and his weaknesses.  And if you have a child with special needs, you understand that this is nothing short of a miracle.  She has never once taken Charlie at face value, or judged him based on any preconceived notions.  So yes, we think she is amazing.

He did this task unassisted.  It might look easy, but when you consider all of the balancing and fine-motor skills involved you’ll understand Charlie’s pleased as punch smile.

It was so much fun to learn about the work Charlie is doing alongside his *typical* peers.  Mrs. R. also pointed out that Charlie knows himself well.  He innately understands his weaknesses and instead of shying away from challenging work, he naturally seeks out the areas he needs to learn the most.  Speech, letters, words.  Fine motor skills, balancing.  Numbers, counting, value.  Of course he still leaves plenty of time for snack.

In the middle of our meeting Mrs. R. put into words a thought I’ve long been trying to capture.

“There is no doubt that Charlie is a bright little boy, but sometimes his body fails him.”

Oh, how these words are true.  I see it daily as Charlie works so hard to run, keeping up with his peers.  Or when he is trying to say something to me – I can practically see the word in his mind, but he just can’t get it to his mouth.  And as much as this breaks my heart, I am once again blown away by the endurance and strength and determination of my child.

counting after lunch…

Always, Charlie you amaze me.

And we never stop being amazed by the ways God brings people into our lives, wherever our journey takes us.  I can assure you that we can’t stop giving thanks to those who have chosen to walk alongside us as we raise up our little ones.

William goes to school.

{toy gun and jammies aside, this is the most recent photo of William I have.  And yes, he is always this cute.}

Sometime at the beginning of September William started pre-school.

I should know the exact date, but honestly my brain isn’t functioning quite right these days.  I’m blaming it on all of the excercise I’ve been doing {four days worth} but clearly I’ve lost my mind.  There is no way you can convince me otherwise, because this morning I FORGOT that my cleaning lady was coming.  I wasn’t home and the house was locked up tight.  Insanity.  You just don’t forget when someone is coming over to clean your house.

So yes, the exact first day of pre-school escapes me.  Besides that there were 8-10 gradual start days and one meet the teacher day.

Anyhow.

Henry was settled into 2nd grade, Charlie was happily back in his Montessori pre-school class and William was ready.  Walking into the school William happily announced that “this is finally my school mommy!”  His entire life he’s watched one of his brothers walk into a Montessori classroom and it was finally his turn.

To commemorate the big day, I broke out a pair of hand-me-down pumas, declaring them “Your new school shoes!” He totally bought it.

He marched into his classroom like he owned the place.  The first day {well, the meet the teacher day, see why I’m confused?} he got to know the classroom and was introduced to some of the work.  His teacher was demonstrating a station, and asked him to stand next to her watching, with his hands behind his back.  A few times he reached out to touch the work and was corrected, “William, please stand and watch for now.”  Finally, it was William’s turn to “work” and he sat down while his teacher stood by his side.  Without missing a beat, William looked up at Miss Jocelyn and said “You need to stand with your hands behind your back while I work please.”

I giggled while also trying to look serious.

So yes, I suppose he really is ready for school.  It doesn’t seem possible – it still doesn’t, but seeing him at work in his classroom makes me think he really might be old enough for this.  Of course this does nothing to stop me from asking his teacher almost daily if she thinks this is a good fit.  “Do you think he seems tired?”  “Maybe he’s too young for this?”  And every time the teacher assures me he is ready.  That he is adjusting well.  I’m happy to hear this, but I’m also ready to swoop in and take my baby home at a moments notice.

But he’s growing and learning.  Each day he doles out precious bits of information like, “We had circle time” and “I did recess!” and “I licked the play dough mommy!”  He brings home paintings daily.  And every single time I pick him up he exclaims “You came back mommy!”

I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t painful for me to let go.  But it’s a gift to watch him grow and thrive.

As for me, I now have five mornings a week on my own.  Honestly I have no idea what to do with myself.

Anything is possible.

As long as it happens between the hours of 9 am and noon.

Birthdays five and three.

You might already know this, but we keep birthdays pretty low-key around here.

Back in my younger and more ambitious days we would not only provide homemade cake and ice cream, but we would prepare an entire meal for our guests.  Complete with adult beverages.  We knew how to party.  Looking back, I obviously had way too much time on my hands.  This time however, I think we’ve hit the nail on the head.

Introducing the morning birthday doughnut party.  It’s perfect.  The youngest guests are at their best because no one had to skip nap time to attend and everyone else is thrilled because they still have a free afternoon.  The food was simple, and who doesn’t love a doughnut?  Add in some fresh fruit, juice for the kiddos and iced-coffee for the adults and ta-da! Instant party.  {Just don’t forget the pinata.  Pinata = birthday party must-have at our house.}

It was a hit.  And while the doughnuts were a fun addition, there really is nothing better than celebrating your little ones with all of your favorite people. Charlie and William soaked up every minute.

As proof of his awesomeness, Charlie his first present and high-tailed it away from the present-opening frenzy to play.   Love that. And He loves his Toy Story toys.

Of course I can’t write about the party without talking about each boy, because honestly, Charlie and William are simply amazing.  {Nope, I’m not biased.}

First, let’s talk about the crazy fact that Charlie is FIVE.  This seems almost impossible.  Our Charlie is affectionate, he’s a giver and a lover.  He is the first to say sorry and share a hug and he is always ready to snuggle  Charlie is also a thrill-seeker, a quiet adrenaline junky.  He is a stickler for rules and routine.  He hates having his picture taken.  Always, he is by my side ready to help around the house, taking out the recycling, feeding June, setting the table or getting the newspaper in the morning.  He loves his toys, especially Buzz, Woody, his Thomas trains and race cars.  Most importantly he loves his brothers and boy do they love him.  He’s a treasure, and I’m not the only one who thinks so.

William.  My BABY is THREE?!  Oh William.  William makes friends easily, charming everyone he meets with his darling personality, endless talking and pip-squeak voice.  He also draws attention everywhere we go because of his curly {almost fluffy} head of hair.  William is a charmer.  He can also be exhausting.  Sweet boy rolls in peaks and valleys.  And as the youngest he knows when he’s being taken for a child and wants no part of it.  He is best buddies with both Henry and Charlie which is something we had quietly hoped for.  William is also our first picky eater.  Most meals he is too busy talking to be bothered with food, but on the off-chance he does eat it’s likely to be peanut butter, bananas, applesauce, apples, avocado, milk and air.

So that’s how we roll around here. We rock store-bought doughnuts. We buy pinatas from Target, reuse decorations from last year, and we celebrate our kiddos with our favorite people and we call it a day. We call it a very, very good day.

Well hellooo there.

I wish I could say we’ve been away on tropical vacation.  That sounds like a nice excuse for blatant blog neglect doesn’t it?

The thing is, I’ve been a photo slacker, which in my world leads to blog slacking.   I blame it mostly on our computer and a general loss of writing mojo but the truth of the matter is this: I hate uploading photos to the computer, every time I’m afraid it’s going to be the end. {of our computer}

But I’m committed to pushing through. I can do this.  I can out-wait Apple.  I can make do without an O key.  Well, that and I’m committed to preserving bits and pieces of our life for me to pour over when I’m old.

Of course, I’ve never been one to make a long story short, but in this case it might help to just focus on some key points that took place during our tropical vacation.  {a.k.a. the last month.}

* Charlie turned 5. I don’t want to talk about it.

* William turned 3.  I don’t want to talk about that either.

* Charlie got a full sleeve tatoo.  Didn’t see that coming.

* Henry painted his masterpiece that’s been two years in the making.

* We celebrated my grandma’s life at quite possibly the most inspirational memorial service ever.  Grandma was a witness in everything she did and it was an honor to recognize her love and devotion to the Lord.

* William started pre-school.  Let’s talk later about that OK?

*We inherited my grandmother’s beloved piano.  It’s a beautiful family treasure that we are honored to have.  I’m already on the hunt for a piano teacher for Henry.

*  Of course the piano is a blessing, but it did require us to change-up our living room furniture.  In my world, un-planned change = uncomfortable.  And I really, really hope this doesn’t sound like complaining because I’m not, but I’ve had to poke a bit of fun at myself at how much this furniture switch-up has thrown me off-balance.

* This probably isn’t a new point but that one was getting long.  In the midst of all of this *change* I’ve learned a few things about myself.  One of my greatest skills is moving the same 20 knickknacks around our house and making it look new.  {or maybe I’m fooling myself?}  For Pete’s sake it took me 7 years to figure out that darn living room.  That’s a lot of knickknack moving for me and furniture moving for my friends.  On the bright side, perhaps all of those years playing house as a child are starting to pay off?   I should also point out that I played *Nordstrom* when I was a kid.  {not joking.}  That too has served me well later in life.

Whew, still with me?  Just a few more, I promise.

* We bought a new vacuum.  That might not seem like something worth documenting, but in my world it has been life-changing.  I’m also fully convinced that for the last 11 years I have simply been pushing dirt around.

* The boys camped out in the backyard.  Add in some s’mores and it was a roaring success!

* Yesterday I worked out for the first time in over a decade.  As in I went to an actual GYM.  Today I can barely walk.  And heaven forbid something falls to the floor.  I plan on going back tomorrow.

* Out of sympathy Alex made dinner for us last night while I drank a beer and complained about how sore I was.  And wouldn’t you just believe it, the kids gobbled down every last bite of the veggie stir fry.  Including the tofu, the peppers, the zucchini, you name a veggie they ate it.  Even William who typically survives on applesauce and bananas and cheese.  Go figure.

Second Grade

Today was Henry’s first day of second grade.  Second grade seems so grown-up, but really he’s ready and we love his school and are thrilled with his teacher.

And no, contrary to what I believed, it does not get easier to sent them off to school as they get older, for me it is much harder.

I think its safe to say that we were both equal parts excited, nervous and a little sad to say goodbye to summer.  We were finally settling into our summer routine {or lack of} when it was time to trade in our lazy days for school dictated schedules.  In years past, I’ve been so physically exhausted by the end of summer that the school year was a welcome break, but this year we’ve finally caught our groove.

It wasn’t intentional, but this summer we really circled the wagons and held our little family tight no matter where our adventures took us.  We talked a lot. Big surprise right?  We covered heavy topics and silly subjects.  We played together and we were bored together.  We traveled and we stayed home.  But no matter what, we were together.  Perhaps this is why I’m so nostalgic today, missing my Henry.

And despite being so grown up and all, my sweet boy {bless his heart} gave me an unsolicited hug and kiss and an I love you mom before the morning bell rang.  There is no doubt that our firstborn was born a big-kid, but his is also a wonderful big brother, always willing to laugh and play and help with the little ones.  He is responsible, always eager to work hard and without prompting or need for praise.  I love that knows who he is and isn’t afraid to say no in a situation or activity that doesn’t line up with our beliefs.  He is always quick to share a story with me {and whoever else will listen} and has a heart of gold.

We had the best conversations this summer.  Henry has a heart of gold and without any prompting or leading he has brought up topics covering Charlie, where will he live when he is older, will he marry or have children?  {Don’t worry mom, I will always take care of him.  And on the subject of Charlie not having children; Charlie will be the best uncle mom, don’t you think?  On marriage, and what kind of man he wants to grow up to be;  Mom it’s really important that I protect what I see and what I hear.  I want to grow-up to be a strong and good man.}

To be fair we should also keep things real, because he is also stubborn {so am I}, impatient {so am I} and sometimes needs reminders about self-control {so do I}…you know what they say about apples and trees… But I can’t begin to tell you how much it makes my mama heart sing to see your child bearing fruit, real fruit, growing from years of love and labor and sweat and tears.  It is hard work raising little ones and sometimes the seasons are long, but when harvest comes {and thankfully there are many} it is heart-breakingly beautiful.

Big news!

With very little fanfare William has said good-bye to diapers.

His reward was a new race car track and the satisfaction of his family clapping, cheering and jumping up and down every single time he emerged from the bathroom this week.

My reward was a phone call to the carpet cleaner, strategically scheduling an appointment the same week school starts.  And for the first time in over seven years diapers aren’t on my target shopping list.

Nope, we still haven’t mastered the whole art of wearing undies AND shorts. One thing at a time, preschool still is a few weeks away.

*This is William in true William form.  I seriously want to eat him up.  He is so stinking cute and funny, and oh that hair!*